The shock of my life!

"I'm a cop, I can't wear a diaper to work!"

Two weeks after my biopsy I was scheduled for a follow-up where I would find out the results.

My wife and I sat in the office and waited for the Doctor to bring us the news. I know it will be good news, I'm too young to have prostate cancer, I thought to myself.

The doctor came in and he did not have a happy face on. He never did any other time, but this time I could sense something different. He had a folder with my name on it and he opened it up and said, " The results came back and it appears you have Cancer."

My wife and I were shocked. There was complete silence. I'm thinking, how could this be? Maybe they got mine mixed up with the other guy. This can't be right. I had no symptoms, yeah I pee a lot but I thought that was normal. At that moment my manhood began to turn to tears. My wife was beside me and she also began to cry.

The doctor went on to tell me that I had two cancerous tumors on both lobes of my prostate and a third that was suspicious but most likely cancerous. My Gleason Score was a 6 which is considered moderately aggressive. He tried to make us feel better by saying that prostate cancer is a slow growing cancer and totally curable. Yeah but I had already read about the side affects and they weren't very promising. Plus I saw what my father went through with his cancer.

He recommended surgery right off the bat. No way! I read all about surgery. They separate your prostate from around your urethra and try to slap it all back together again. You become impotent and incontinent.

My cousin who is a Doctor in Dallas told me about a procedure called proton beam therapy and I asked the doctor about that. He said it was a gimmick.

I took my nice little folder my Urologist provided me with my results inside, and went directly to my parents house where I told them the news. My Father was saddened and I think he felt guilty for passing the cancer gene to me. We all cried and both my parents and my wife comforted me and provided me with positive thoughts like they always have throughout the tough times in my life. But this was by far the toughest!

I'm a cop, I can't wear a diaper to work! I can't perform my duties if I have to pee every 15 to 30 minutes. What am I going to do now? I still have nine more years until I can retire.

All kinds of thoughts ran through my head as I began to ride on the Emotional Roller Coaster. At times I felt angry and sad and other times I felt like I just wanted to lay down, go to sleep, and wake up from this nightmare.

Hook up that winch line and let's get back on the trail!